June 14-15, 1997 Sermon

June 14-15, 1997

Mike Slaughter

Mark 5:21
21: When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake.

A Desperate Dad
Open your Bibles to Mark, the 5th chapter, verse 21. Jesus had just been up all night casting out demons. That’s a de-energizing experience, would you agree? "When he returned, he crossed again, in the boat to the other side, a great crowd gathered around him and he was by the sea." (Mark 5: 21)
The last thing you need when you’ve been out all night casting out demons is for people to show up at your house. "

Mark 5:22-23
22: Then one of the synagogue rulers, named Jairus, came there. Seeing Jesus, he fell at his feet
23: and pleaded earnestly with him, "My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live."

And one of the leaders of the synagogue named Jairus came and when he saw him fell at his feet and begged him repeatedly, ‘My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her so that she may be made well and live.’" (verses 22, 23) Now that is a desperate dad, would you agree? A desperate dad, but a great dad, for he was a dad who was giving himself for the well-being of his daughter.
Now I don’t usually do this, but it’s Father’s Day weekend and I’m going to take the liberty to speak as a father. I trust that those of you who are not fathers, in the mix of this whole thing, can hear the Word from the Lord.
Who we are and what we become has everything to do with our parents -- for the home is God’s design for human development. It is the place where we develop our self-concept. It is the place where we determine who we’re going to be as a human being. It has everything to do with self-image. It has everything to do with esteem, everything to do with the health in our relationships.
The home really acts as a mirror-of -self. When we’re about 18 months old, we begin to realize that we’re a separate person. Up until we are 18 months old, we just think we’re a part of the whole thing, but then we begin to realize, at that age, that we’re a separate individual, and we literally begin to become what we see. The home acts as a mirror to our identity. That’s a pretty scary thing -- that we literally become what we see.
The home’s also called a ‘skylight of heaven,’ for it is from our parents that we get our picture of God. A whole lot of our view of God has been developed by what we saw in our parents. Now that’s a heavy responsibility, right? I am speaking as a parent! My kids’ self-esteem, their self-identity, their ability to have health in relationships, their picture of God has everything to do with me. Parents, am I speaking to people who feel as I do? That is a heavy, heavy trip. How can I be sure, as a dad, as a parent, that my kids get the real deal?

I. #1 Priority - To Live In The Presence

At The Feet Of Jesus
Now where do we find Jairus? In this passage, it is very clear where we find him (verse 22). Jairus comes to Jesus and falls at His feet.
Dads, hear me -- moms and everyone else, too. I cannot give what I don’t have. The kids are sharp. They smell the real deal. Our kids are very aware of whether or not we’re authentic, and they see beyond our words. I may say, "Really follow Jesus and make Jesus first in your life," but they smell past my words and they see my priorities. They may hear God talk, but do they see Him from my actions and priorities? Whether it’s success or security, or to be number one, or to be recognized, or to be in control, my priority becomes their image of God. My priorities become their priorities.
Do you know why I’m a Christian? It wasn’t because of the typical religious deal. The typical religious deal turned me off real quick. I’m a Christian because long before I ever experienced the presence of God personally, I saw the presence of God in other people’s lives.
If anyone here today is serious about following God, it is because long before he/she ever made that decision, he/she saw the real deal in the lives of other people. I saw people, of all of the people I looked at, making choices in the same areas of life as the ones that I was going to invest myself in and the priorities I was going to have. And I saw a group of people that had a power in their life that was different from other folks. They had an integrity in their life. They had an unconditional love that was different from anything else that I saw. That’s why I’m a Christian -- because there were people that I looked at who lived in the presence of God.

Continuous Prayer
Now what do we do in the presence of God? What did Jairus do at the feet of Jesus for his daughter that was most important? He repeatedly begged -- continuous prayer -- continuous prayer.
My grandfather was a man who had a great relationship with the Lord. He died ten months ago. When, at age 18, I finally surrendered and said, "God, I’m done running, here I am," and at the same time God called me into ministry, I went and told my grandfather. You know what he said to me? "Michael, I’ve prayed for you every day for 18 years." I thought I could run from the presence of God, and all along my grandfather, in prayer, was holding me right there in the presence of God.
You can’t run! Some of you are here today and you feel pain because your kids are already gone. They’re not aware of the presence of Christ all around. You know what you can do right now? Hold them, by prayer, continually in the presence of Christ. Power! Those of you who are parents should know that nagging does not change people. Not spouses. Not friends. But God can!
This is why we pray in the name of Jesus. Our kids may be miles from here, but every time we name the name of Jesus -- Jesus is alive -- He is with us and them. Every time we name the name of Jesus, we’re recognizing that it’s not our nagging that’s going to change people, it’s not our trying to convince; it is the presence of Christ that is going to change people around us and meet the needs of people around us. When we name the name of Jesus we can have a quiet confidence that God works even when we don’t.
The most important thing we can do as parents, first priority, is to live in the presence of Christ, for we cannot give what we do not have.

Mark 5:24
24: So Jesus went with him. A large crowd followed and pressed around him.

II. Be Fully Present
Secondly, I pass that presence to my kids by being fully present with them. Look at verse 24.
Jairus comes to the presence of Jesus. We find him at the feet of Jesus, repeatedly praying for his daughter. What does Jesus do? He goes with him. Sometimes people come to me and they want me to do something. My tendency is to say, ‘Well, I’ll pray for you.’ Jesus didn’t "pray for." Jesus went -- to be fully present with Jairus’ daughter. How are we present with our children?

Mark 5:23
23: and pleaded earnestly with him, "My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live."

Affection
My kids can know the power of God’s presence through my affection. What does Jairus ask Jesus to do? Look at verse 23. He says, "Will you please come and touch my daughter so that she may be well and live again?" Here is the importance of healthy touch. We all need healthy touch.
A lot of us are not experiencing wellness and aliveness. We can’t have healthy relationships, we’re frozen in our relationships. We go from one spouse to another spouse and we can never really experience the depth of warmth because we’ve never really experienced healthy affection. We are frozen and we can never live or be well unless we experience healthy affection.
Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who was raised in Holland and spent the last two years of World War II in a Nazi concentration camp (because she and her family were hiding Jews in their home), said "My security was assured in many ways as a child. Every night I would go to the door of my room in my nightie and call out ‘Papa, I’m ready for bed.’ He would come to my room and pray with me before I went to sleep. I can always remember that he took time with us and would tuck the blankets around my shoulders very carefully. With his own characteristic precision, he would put his hand gently on my face and say, ‘Sleep well, Corrie. I love you.’’’ Those are three powerful words. We are stingy with those. Don’t be stingy with those words. We need to hear those words every day, every day, every day.
"'Sleep well, Corrie, I love you.' I would be very, very still because I thought that if I moved I might somehow lose the touch of his hand. I wanted to feel it until I fell asleep. Many years later in a concentration camp in Germany I sometimes remembered the feeling of my father’s hand on my face when I was lying on a wretched dirty mattress in that dehumanizing prison. I would say, ‘Lord, let me feel your hand upon me. May I creep under the shadow of your wings.’ In the midst of that suffering was my Heavenly Father’s security."

Mark 5:25-34
25: And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.
26: She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.
27: When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,
28: because she thought, " If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed."
29: Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
30: At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
31: "You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'who touched me?'"
32: But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.
33: Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.
34: He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

How did she know the touch of her Heavenly Father? How did she know the presence of God? Through the physical affection of her earthly father. My children will know the presence of God through my healthy affection.

Availability
My kids will know the power of God’s presence through my availability. What does it mean to be available? It means to be interruptible. Do you know what is so amazing about this passage? Jesus goes in the midst of interruptions. He’s just been out all night casting out demons. (I feel like I’ve done that some nights -- and some days. Last thing I need is an interruption.) He goes on with Jairus to be present with his little girl and what happens again? Interruption! A woman who has been hemorrhaging for twelve years comes and says, "Jesus, heal me." And you know what? Jesus never sees people as interruptions. He sees interruptions as opportunities to use God’s presence for humans.
Kids need to know that they are the priority. I was preaching in Illinois, I was in the pulpit. My son Jonathan was young -- he had just started playing soccer. He had just come home from a game, and I’m thinking, ‘I’m missing my son play soccer, what am I doing in the pulpit?’ (I think that sometimes, now, when I’m gone from home.) Jonathan had a baseball game this afternoon. I couldn’t go because I was here. I called him before his game to say those three magic words -- I love you, I love you, I love you. Those are more important than "How did you do?")
Someone came to me in the pulpit and said, "Your son’s on the phone." He was little -- six years old. I asked where the phone was -- I was preaching. They told me the closest phone was back in the kitchen. I went back to the kitchen, picked up the phone, sat on the kitchen counter. I did not say, "What do you want?" What does that sound like? I’m busy. I said, ‘Hey, buddy, what’s happening?’ All the people out in the sanctuary waiting. Jonathan said, "Daddy, I just scored my first goal!" I said, ‘Wow, tell me about it.’ They’re waiting. He said, "Well, I almost got two, but it bounced off the goal post." What’s most important? Our kids will know the presence and the power of God by our availability.
I talked to my mom today and she got kind of teary. It’s been ten months since my grandfather died. You know what my mom remembers? The day she gave birth to my sister, she had my dad call my grandfather -- her dad -- at work. His grocery business had gone bankrupt. The only job he could find was assembling locks at a workbench. He hated it after years of owning his own grocery store. The call came that his daughter was in labor and on the way to the hospital. He packs up his tool kit, he’s on the way out the door, the boss stops him and asks him where he is going. He told the boss, ‘‘My daughter’s having a baby." The boss replied, "You can’t just leave work," to which my grandfather replied, "I can always find another job but I only have one daughter." My mom still remembers that.

Affirmation
What is most important? People around us will know the power and presence of God by our affirmation. What is affirmation? It is to aggressively point out what is good. People came to Jesus and told him to go home, that the girl was dead. Jesus said, "She’s not dead, she’s only sleeping." What is it about human nature, that it’s so easy to find the negative? "I know you got all A’s and B’s but what about this C?"
Last Sunday night, Jonathan was playing ball after midnight and hit a monster triple. I said, "Jonathan, what happened the time you flew out to left field?" He replied, "Hit it off the handle, Dad." We always tend to notice those little things, right? People will understand the presence and power of God through our affirmations, not criticism.
Last week, I was talking to a reporter from CBS. (They’re interested in doing a segment on our church for the Charles Osgood program on Sunday mornings.) The reporter called me from LA and we were talking. I asked her if she was a part of any kind of faith community. She replied that her dad was a hippie, and she was a secular Jew. I said, ‘You have an incredible destiny.’ Here she is, this critical reporter on the phone, and all of a sudden she goes, "How do you know?" I said, ‘God has made each person with this incredible purpose.’ She said, "Wow, I hope I live up to it." The reporter from LA.
Find the positive, no matter how hard you have to look, and say it. Jesus was good at that. When people came up to Him, He did not focus on the negative. You could be a prostitute, you could have just been caught in adultery, and he would find the good and say it. Nathaniel was a critical, negative person. When Andrew, his brother, went to him and said, "You’ve got to meet this incredible guy. He’s a powerful, incredible guy -- you feel the presence of God around him," what does Nathaniel say? "Where’s he from? Nazareth? Well what good thing could ever came out of Nazareth?" So, here comes Jesus. What is He going to say positive about a negative, critical person? And you know what Jesus said? "Oh, Nathaniel, here is a person in whom there is no deceit." He found the one good thing and spoke that.

Mark 5:41
41: He took her by the hand and said to her, "Little girl, I say to you, get up!"

Speak God’s possibilities. "That little girl is not dead. She’s sleeping!" Jesus goes over to that little girl who everyone else said is dead and he said, "little girl, get your butt up off that couch, God’s got an incredible plan for your life."
We were up at Annual Conference in Lakeside, Ohio, which is where we United Methodists gather every year for our annual meeting. We were walking around and Tammy Kelly (a staff member at Ginghamsburg) asked me, as she has before, why we are United Methodists -- why I’m so committed to the United Methodist denomination.
We’re walking around and we see Mattie Henderson. She is a precious woman from Gaines United Methodist Church in Cincinnati who worked with me as a teenager. When I was lost, people said "That boy is dead, he is not worth the effort. Do not waste your time with him." And Mattie says, "That child’s not dead, he’s asleep." We saw her, and then Tammy’s husband, Mike, looked at her and said, "Well, Mike tells us what a nice kid he was as a teenager!" Mattie looked over and...
And then we met Wendell Freshley, who knew me when I was 19 years old. He came over this week -- threw his arms around me (he’s been retired for ten years) -- he and his wife came over and hugged me; and, I kissed him on the head. Wendell said, "We are so proud of you." Wendell Freshly, when I was a 19-year-old kid, said, "Come and preach in my church." Other people were saying, "The boy’s dead." Wendell said, "The boy’s not dead, he’s just sleeping." Mike, get your butt up off that couch. Arise, get up, God has an incredible plan for you. People will understand the power and presence of God when we speak aggressively -- affirmation.

Acceptance
People will understand the power and presence of God through our acceptance. We are a performance driven people. I don’t know what they put in our Post Toasties, but whatever it was, it is like we are just never quite good enough. It has drastically impacted our image of God. We are much more aware of God’s displeasure than we are aware of His pleasure with us.
Anytime we think about God being with us, we think, "Oh God, when I get my act together you’ll really, maybe, semi-like being around me." It is hard for us to imagine that God derives pleasure in us for just who we are. Isn’t it? We have this over-grown sense of guilt. Some people say, "Mike, why don’t you tell people more about their sin?" I don’t have to tell people about their sin. We’re very aware of what we don’t do right.
I’ve got a great word. It’s not my word, it’s a biblical word. It’s called grace. Do you know what grace is? It is the opposite of performance. It is undeserved favor. Here’s what grace is. God loves you and enjoys you just the way you are. Isn’t that amazing? God loves you and enjoys you just the way you are. If only we could pass this on to our kids.
As Christians, we sometimes have the most trouble with this. If you’re struggling with grace, read the book of Galatians. Do you know why Paul wrote the book of Galatians? Because he said, "Some of you are just like the Galatians. You started out living by grace but now you’ve switched back to performance. You started out with the true Gospel -- the Good News that God loves you and enjoys being in your presence, and that God has done everything necessary through Jesus Christ on the Cross for your forgiveness and rightness with God. Now enjoy God! Forget this performance thing." That’s what the book of Galatians is all about -- that we keep this as followers of the Lord Jesus and live in Galatians. Do you ever struggle with living in God’s grace? We need to check what we are saying to people we’re with about value as it’s tied to performance.

Scene from Parenthood 3, a Rick Moranis movie about putting pressure on a pre-schooler to perform.

Watch this clip!

Have you ever done that? Sometimes as parents, the time we spend with our children is time spent in preparing them to perform, like helping them with homework. Jonathan and I spend almost every day in the back yard hitting baseballs. (His sister informed me about a week ago that I was pushing Jon too hard.) Well, we were out last Sunday hitting baseballs before we went to a baseball game. Then, when we’re in the car, I say to Jonathan, ‘Jonathan, this really isn’t about playing baseball. It doesn’t matter if you really make it in baseball. When I’m out there in the back yard with you, it’s really about just being with you. The baseball’s not the thing. It’s what we’ll always remember -- being together.’
That’s what the Bible means when it says, "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved." It means -- be in Jesus Christ. The number one priority of life -- to live in the presence; because kids can smell the real deal. If you live in the presence of Jesus Christ, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, you will be saved. You will become a mirror of that health and wholeness in the life of your home.
That’s a pretty heavy responsibility, isn’t it? Especially to me, my brothers! Man! My kids will become me? Their esteem, their identity, the health of their relationships, their picture of God, are dependent on me. I need help. So today, we’ve asked some of our sisters to come forward to pray for us, and I want to ask those of you who are here with a man or a significant other, that during this time of prayer, you will sit with that person, and however you express healthy affection -- touch them, put your arm around them, whatever.
Would those of you who are praying come and pray prayers of healing?

Prayer
"Father we all want to do the right thing to allow your presence to come to life wherever we are. We come to you today to pray for men everywhere, for those who are here and part of our lives each day."
"Dear Lord, we pray for men who are struggling with past pain from those hurts in our lives, those who have not experienced the love of a father of their own. We ask you to make our Father’s love real to them."
"Jesus, we know many who have been effected by divorce, their own, or perhaps that of their parents. Be the strength these men need to become whole again. Mend the broken places in their lives."
"Lord, we pray for men learning to be dads, especially step-dads. Give them the strength and the ability to love unconditionally, Lord, to go beyond their own abilities and how they feel. Lord give them your strength."
"Lord, we pray for men to know what it is to be safe space for others. We pray for single men to find their identity through you and to treat their sisters with Godly respect, to see all of us as people made for your enjoyment."
"Sometimes men find it difficult to display healthy affection. Jesus, be their model, touch their hearts with the warmth of your spirit. Set them free to express what is now trapped inside their hearts."
"Father, for men, young and old, we pray for the courage to be real, to speak out in your behalf, and to be your presence with others. We pray for hearts to be touched, to go in your presence today. Amen."

Conclusion
Next week, we’re going to talk about being the presence of God to others beyond our immediate family. There’s a lot of pain and hurt in our lives, but the church is also a place of repairing. It’s a safe place where we can come for the kind of healing that God wants to do, so you’ll want to be back again next week. Have a great week, living in the presence, and being the presence to those around you. God bless.